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Sex happens. It\u2019s why I\u2019m here. It\u2019s \u2013 and I hate to disgust you \u2013 why you\u2019re here. Your parents had sex<\/a>. Their parents had sex. We have all had, or likely will have, sex. But on social media<\/a>, many of us aren\u2019t having sex. We\u2019re having \u201cseggs\u201d, \u201csecs\u201d or \u201cs3x\u201d.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Log onto some of the world\u2019s most popular social media platforms, like Instagram<\/a> and TikTok<\/a>, and you\u2019ll often find a sexless world \u2013 but one that\u2019s plenty seggsy. As part of a growing trend to remove legitimately harmful content online, social media platforms are clamping down on sex and sexual terms. And the move is forcing users to resort to clever phonetics and emojis to talk openly about sex while avoiding account suspensions or permanent bans.<\/p>\n <\/span> \u201cPlatforms are essentially declaring war on sex, nudity and sexuality,\u201d says Carolina Are<\/a>, a London-based content moderation academic and pole dance instruction. Most of the major social media platforms are based in the US, and as such are adhering to rules decreed in Washington. \u201cThey\u2019re cracking down on potential solicitation and nudity or sexual activity, which I can only assume is on the back of FOSTA-SESTA<\/a> [two US Senate and House bills that became law in 2018].\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n FOSTA-SESTA was designed to halt sex trafficking<\/a>, but, in Are\u2019s opinion, it has caught many other innocent people in its drag net. She has had her Instagram account deleted once, and her TikTok account has been temporarily blocked a number of times. \u201cObviously, I don\u2019t want that to happen again, so I sometimes change the language.\u201d Search TikTok for #sextoys and you won\u2019t find the hashtag, she says, but search #femalepleasure and you\u2019ll find the equivalent.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSexual content and the spaces for it are really shrinking on social media,\u201d she says. \u201cI think that says a lot about the relationship users have with those platforms. They live in fear of being censored or being deleted. And they have to protect themselves while still talking about the issues that matter to them the most.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span> One influencer trapped in that bind is Vista Wife<\/a>, an advocate and educator on the swinging lifestyle, who has 150,000 followers on TikTok, 10,000 on Instagram, and 7,500 on Twitter. \u201cYou\u2019ve just got to be really cautious about it,\u201d she says. She finds she has to be far more careful about her content on Instagram and TikTok \u2013 both of which have comparatively younger user bases \u2013 than Twitter.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe always live on the principle of: \u2018Ooh, should I say that? Can I say that? What can I say?\u2019\u201dshe says. Vista Wife and her husband often host TikTok Live sessions, answering questions from newcomers to swinging, but these have now become a tightrope walk. \u201cIt\u2019s nerve-wracking,\u201d she says, \u201cbecause if you said something in a discussion and TikTok go: \u2018Woah, hang on a minute,\u2019 [and] they just block your account. You start having to think about everything that you\u2019re saying \u2013 every little detail \u2013 to make sure you can still be there and present.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n The practice of employing a near second language of phonetic and emoji terms to talk openly about sex has long been known to users of Grindr<\/a>, says Max Morris<\/a>, a lecturer in criminology at Oxford Brookes University who focuses on queer theory. \u201cLots of these kinds of codes emerged on Grindr because the app had quite a censorious approach to certain things \u2013 drugs and sex work primarily, but also more explicit photos.\u201d Grindr\u2019s approach (which has been relaxed in the last year towards explicit photos) was driven by the need to meet Apple\u2019s strict criteria for listing on the App Store. Without following their rules, apps aren\u2019t able to access the primary form of distribution to users on phones.<\/p>\n <\/span> Necessity is the mother of invention, and Grindr\u2019s user base came up with their own underground code designed to evade the censors. Rather than explicitly saying users could be paid for sex, which the app monitored and banned, sex workers began using the banknote emoji instead. When Grindr recognised the tide had shifted and started taking action against that, they moved on to the diamond emoji. \u201cPeople will always find ways to get around sexual censorship, but I would look at what the platforms explicitly allow or don’t allow, rather than asking why users go to these lengths,\u201d says Morris.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n While those misspelt homonyms and emoji may seem like a solution, Are isn\u2019t entirely sure. Her research, and communications with Instagram, show that when one term is shadowbanned and placed onto the list of \u201cforbidden\u201d hashtags, some terms that sound similar are also shadowbanned. Just as Grindr eventually caught up with the banknote emoji users, they\u2019re also likely to crack down on the deployment of diamonds.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n In a request for comment, TikTok told VICE that it doesn\u2019t allow sexually explicit content on the platform \u2013 including behaviours that mimic, imply or display sex acts. The word \u201csex\u201d itself isn\u2019t banned on TikTok, VICE understands, nor does using it impact the performance of your video. It\u2019s about how the word is used and in what context. An Instagram spokesperson did not respond to a request for comment.<\/p>\n <\/span> This crackdown on sexualised hashtags, words and phrases shouldn\u2019t just worry those engaged in sex work<\/a>. In 2022, social media is the public sphere; it\u2019s where people come to talk about their concerns and queries; to learn and ask questions. And if they\u2019re unable to find answers \u2013 particularly around vexed issues of sex and consent \u2013 that can have problematic consequences.<\/p>\n